Last night before 12 my grandpa passed away :( We were waiting for a call from my aunts starting around 7 or 8 because the nurses said they didnt think he'd make it through the night. My mom was understandably very upset, I'm not sure the last time I've seen her like that. She was in bed and came out to the living room to tell me then just sat on the couch and cried for a bit. I don't think I could take a parent dying at all. Even just the thought of that eventually happening is incredibly sad. If anyone in my immediate family passed away I'd be devastated for weeks I think. When I had the car accident at the end of last year, for a moment thought my brother was dead it was horrible. I probably could have killed myself, not even exaggerating. Looking back it's obviously not the way to deal with that problem but it was the worst feeling I have ever felt. Now, that would have been a little different from someone in my family having a heart attack or something since the first instance would have been my fault, but I wouldn't take a death well. I don't take thinking about family and friends dying well. That's why I'm dilusional and choose to believe everyone I know will just be there forever.
I'll miss you grandpa, I know where you are and hope to see you one day again.