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Something I'd like to say to someone but don't think I ever would.



WTF? Seriously. This has really got to me over the past few weeks. I care so much about you as a friend, but at the same time I'm finding less and less reason to hang out with you. I have a good time when we do though, I haven't felt used even if some people see it that way. It's cool. It's just you could be so much better. Really. You let other people control you constantly, you have little drive to improve your situation in life, and I've kind of just felt unappreciated. Your best friend hasn't been much help in your life. All these choices you tell me about that you regret can be traced back to her. She's hardly a beacon of what a moral person should be. I know you've been through a lot of the same situations growing up so you have this connection, but your not her. You don't have to be her. You can be better. She brings you down. Just because she likes something or wants to do something, you don't have to follow in her footsteps. They usually lead you down the wrong path anyway.

Look, you're old enough to take care of yourself. You're not helpless. You get jobs and quit right away because you don't like them. Your first job will almost always suck. It's money though. You get experience, go somewhere else. I know with your family you haven't always had the opportunities a lot of people have had but you don't do much to change. You make excuses over and over again. Excuses don't get you anywhere. I'd like to see you happy and succeed in something but there always seems to be something holding you back. Everyone goes through rough times, it's not a reason to stop trying.

You know, I do a lot for you. I don't mind it either. I'd do it for any of my friends in an instant and don't think twice about it. My biggest thing with friends is I want to be there to listen and give input. But you make a bad choice, I'll give you advice...and you REALLY seem to listen. Like "hey, that's great advice, you're right" yet this pattern of behavior continues. A lot can be instigated by friends but you control your own actions. I just try to be there to give you a different point of view. You don't hang around with the greatest crowd, you really don't like staying around your family so I like being an outlet. I like to be that person that you can tell everything to. I feel I can do the same with you. I just don't want to see you making certain mistakes all the time. If I tell you that 95% of guys are a certain way, it's because it's true. I'm a guy, I'm around them all the time, it's true. And obviously in your life you've seen the same things that only go to show I'm right. I'm beginning to see these actions as a much bigger flaw in you rather than you not knowing any better. People like to tell others about their views on life, and being around others I think they tell their ideal views. The things they really wish they could live up to. Problem is, most people don't hear that and will only see your actions. No matter how much you would like to do things differently, you don't. That's what I see, and what everyone else does too.

You could be so much happier. I don't even mean that I would be the one to do it, because I know that it's not just something you wouldn't go for, but more and more it's something I don't even want. There is someone out there I'm sure. Maybe someone that would tell you this to make a change in your life. When you come to me saying "I just met this guy, he's really nice" then go on to explain how he's not only getting with(making out with.....) you but he's been getting with another chick for a few months.... now where does the "nice" come into play? There have been a lot worse things too that just make me wonder why you give some people chances? Do you like being the victim in your life? Can you not live without drama in your life? It seems to go beyond you having bad luck but rather you choose to be unhappy. Like these short relationships/ little flings are easy because they don't require much effort. You could really like someone, take your time to get to know them, then proceed to a physical relationship but that takes time, it's hard sometimes. And I say "what happened to back in middle school when someone would be all shy but work up the courage to ask a girl out. Then after a while they would hold hands. Maybe soon after there would be a kiss on the cheek, then lips, and this would take over a month?" The guy wasn't necessarily thinking how much he wants to have sex with the girl. They just like eachother and like being around eachother. And you go along with that, agreeing that things used to be better/easier. You didn't have to worry about sex and all that comes with it. But still, you throw that thought away. It's one of those traits of your ideal self you've abandoned by your actions. You can change that. There are good people out there. You don't find them by getting drunk and getting with them. I'm just kind of tired of hearing any drama. It's dumb shit that gets you into it. It must just be you then. I wish those one-on-one conversations I have with you would be the real you. The ideal you. And that's what I've been wanting to see. I would never tell you this because you wouldn't change, but I still hope you do.