MAN among Men

Today I visited my grandpa on my mom's side in hospice. He contracted alzheimers like my grandmom did but recently had pneumonia in both his lungs. It dropped his condition dramatically and even though he was treated for the pneumonia he hasn't come back from it mentally or physically. My brother Matt and I went to northern Pennsylvania(about 4 hours) to my aunt Judy's house where my mom has been staying a little over a week. The place my grandpa is staying is only about a mile from there. Right now my grandma and grandpa are both staying in the same room there, both unresponsive and bed-ridden. It really isn't the way I wanted to see any of them go. My grandpa's whole life he's been completely self-sufficient. Had his own business, built himself up to a well respected man where he lived, and genuinely enjoyed life. He was exactly what I want to be when I'm old. He had his hobby of collecting tractors that he loved almost more than anything. If he saw any tractor he could give you the make, model, and year.....plus be able to build it if he had the parts. I remember when I was younger seeing him bring out all his tractors after the winter to start them up for the first time in the spring(he restored and collected a lot, like 15-20?) . It was an event to see. They would all be taken out one by one, and driven around the property. If one didn't start he would work all day till it got running. If he didn't have to eat or sleep I think he could have lived in a shed next to a Massie-Harris tractor.

He was one of the hardest workers I know. He worked his whole life till his body wouldn't let him. And even after that he kept going till his mind was slipping. When he was put in a home he still imagined working everyday and would tell stories about all the work he did that day or the night before. He loved going to this little shop/gas station called Friendly Fred's that wasn't too far from his house. Everyone there knew him and liked him. He loved meeting new people too. Especially if they knew something about tractors, he could go on and on with people for hours about them. He was an expert bulldozer operator too and worked on many of the roads in his area. From things I heard, he did things on those machines other operators didn't even think were possible. Like the machine was an extension of his body. He was the chief of police in his town for years. In the basement of his house, next to his Chief of Police plaque, he had a big slab of stone that had dinosaur footprint fossils on it. How many people have that in their house? He collected glass bottles and had hundreds of antique bottles all over the basement. I know one day I'm going to be visiting the house after all of that is cleared out......it'll be a sad day. So many good memories there.

I don't really talk about my grandma a whole lot because I didn't know her as well. She was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2000 and declined pretty quickly. It may have been 2003 or 4 when she was put into a home. I do know that my grandpa loved her even more than his tractors. He visited her everyday. Even after she stopped walking, stopped talking, and stopped responding to almost everything he kept going. She didn't know who he was but he stayed next to her and always told her everything that was going on. Once he was diagnosed he moved into my aunts house. My grandma was moved into that area and he
kept visiting her as much as possible. When he was declining more and more he was put into the same room with her. He loved that. Sometimes a nurse would go in the room to shut off the light and he would stop them, saying that his wife needed the light because she was reading. He imagined many conversations with her and remained upbeat through everything. It wasn't until recently that he got pneumonia, which he had before but recovered from. His mind just never came back. When we walked into the room today it was pretty emotional. I had to make a big effort not to cry. He was asleep but they had this christian DVD playing. It was made by the Gaithers. They are this church group that travels around the country with a choir and plays in venues all over. They sell out stadiums, and are one of the most well-known Christian groups around. My grandpa had so many of their tapes/videos and watched them almost every night. He was a devoted christian. I can still hear him playing his organ to all these religious tunes. As he got older his hands began to shake more and more and this became pretty difficult for him to do. He still tried but his fingers didn't always go where he'd like them to. Watching the Gaither video in his room almost had me in tears. He wasn't the same anymore. His health was only getting worse, his mind is gone, and they are expecting him to die in the near future. My grandma's health is actually good as in no physical problems, doesn't get sick or anything, just her head it out of it. Both of them are just laying there dying by eachother's side without even being aware of it. We sat there in the room for maybe 2 hours, my mom, matt, and me. It's not the kind of state they should be in. No one should. Life doesn't give any breaks just because you were a good person, even a great person. In a week, in a year, who knows what could happen. My grandpa lived everyday doing the things he loved. He's a model for what I'd like to be. I bet he had no regrets in life because everyday was enjoyed to its fullest. He's going to be the first close relative I had die. My grandma on my dad's side as well as his father, but I knew them very little, especially my dad's dad who I'm not sure I've even met before. Everyone is just preparing for the death now, I don't know how well or bad I'll take it. Though I think it is best that he passes soon, I can't look forward to it.